


Waifs and Strays

by Good_News_Everyone



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Also a kitty!, Drabble, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mild Stony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 14:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4629441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Good_News_Everyone/pseuds/Good_News_Everyone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>‘I can’t believe you’re still jogging in this weather,’ said Tony when Steve stumbled through the door of Avengers Mansion, gasping from the freezing air. ‘It’s like ten degrees outside.’</em>
  <br/>
  <em>‘Some people have a sense of self-discipline,’ said Steve, dusting snow off the shoulders of his hoodie.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>‘Some people have a sense of self-preservation,’ Tony retorted, stretching his feet out towards the roaring fireplace. </em>
</p><p>In response to a challenge to write something using all the words on a Porny Fanfic Bingo Card that was not actually porn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waifs and Strays

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wasn't planning on writing for a while because I'm meant to be studying (exams are the _worst. possible. thing_ ), but [KnottaHooker](http://knottahooker.tumblr.com/) posted her [porny fanfic bingo card](http://knottahooker.tumblr.com/post/64301964228/im-about-to-make-a-porny-fanfic-bingo-card), and then [Uminoko](http://uminoko.tumblr.com/) issued a challenge to 'write something containing all those words that is not a smut'.
> 
> CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

‘I can’t believe you’re still jogging in this weather,’ said Tony when Steve stumbled through the door of Avengers Mansion, gasping from the freezing air. ‘It’s like ten degrees outside.’

‘Some people have a sense of self-discipline,’ said Steve, dusting snow off the shoulders of his hoodie.

‘Some people have a sense of self-preservation,’ Tony retorted, stretching his feet out towards the roaring fireplace.

Steve opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by a sad, little mewling sound coming from his midsection. Tony’s head whipped around as Steve looked guiltily down at his jacket.

Very carefully, Steve extricated a tiny, mackerel-striped kitten from one of his pockets and placed it on the coffee table in front of Tony. The kitten took a few shaky steps towards him on wobbling knees, big green eyes turned upwards beseechingly.

‘Absolutely not,’ Tony said.

‘But Tony –‘

‘No, Steve.’

‘I’ll take care of her-‘

‘No more pets,’ said Tony firmly. ‘The last time I let you pick up a stray, you brought home a half-feral ninety-year-old Brooklynite assassin, and you still haven’t gotten  _him_  housebroken yet.’

‘Someone just left her in a box on the kerb!’ Steve protested, gesturing out the window at the now rapidly falling snow. ‘I can’t take her back out there, didn’t you see the forecast? It’s going to be a total whiteout by evening!’

‘You are such a boy scout,’ said Tony, rolling his eyes and scooping up the kitten with one hand. She yowled in protest, biting ineffectually at his thumb. ‘Seriously, I promise that I’m not going to dump her back on the street. I  _will_ , however, find a no-kill shelter, make a very generous donation, and leave her with-‘

He turned around to find himself suddenly nose-to-nose with Bucky and yelped, jumping back a couple of feet.

The Winter Soldier held his gaze for a moment before his eyes dropped down to where Tony was clutching the kitten tightly to his chest, her paws scissoring wildly through the air as she tried to clamber out of his grip.

Wordlessly, he held out his hand.

‘See,  _this_  is why people find you creepy!’ Tony half-shouted, heart still pounding with adrenaline. ‘The whole silent, shadowy, sneaking-up-on-people ninja thing! Stop _doing_  that!’

The Soldier somehow managed to give the impression of rolling his eyes without actually doing so, and beckoned again with his open, flesh hand.

‘Steve?’ Tony said, warily eyeing Bucky’s expressionless face.

‘Give him the kitten, Tony,’ Steve said, quietly.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Give her to him,’ Steve repeated. ‘Bucky used to like cats, back before- Well. Before.’

Very carefully, Tony placed the kitten in the Soldier’s cupped hands and stepped backwards. The man stared down at the little grey fuzzball for a moment, then gently lifted her up to the level of his face. She meowed hopefully and batted his nose with a minuscule paw.

Tony gaped as the Winter Soldier, former fist of HYDRA, nightmare of assassins and scourge of SHIELD, squealed like a teenage girl and cuddled the tiny creature to his chest, cooing at her in nonsensical baby sounds.

He slowly turned back around to Steve.

‘Bucky  _really_  likes cats,’ Steve said, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

‘Did you  _plan_  all of this?’

‘I can neither confirm nor deny,’ Steve said blandly, the twinkle of mischief in his eyes belying his words. ‘Still, they do say that adopted strays do better with company. It helps them to know that someone’s looking out for them.’

‘Yeah,’ said Tony, gazing at the kitten, now nuzzling into the curve of Bucky’s neck. ‘I suppose it does.’

 

~

 

**One Year Later**

 

Tony was fully, enjoyably engrossed in the transmission of his new car when ten tiny needles of pain suddenly sank into his leg.

He yelped and jerked upright, banging his head on the undercarriage of the Lamborghini so hard he saw stars for a moment, and shook them away to see a suspiciously mackerel-coloured blur streaking out of the workshop.

‘Barnes, your cat is a menace,’ yelled Tony, stomping up the stairs.

‘Aw, shut it, you needed to come out of there anyway,’ Bucky shouted back from where he was sprawled across the couch, feet up on the arm. ‘You’ve been hiding away in the basement so long you’re startin’ to grow mushrooms, and you smell like one, too.’

‘I do  _not-_ ‘ Tony began, then sniffed at his shirt and grimaced at the sour, earthy reek. ‘All right, so I could  _maybe_  do with a shower.’

‘You do that,’ said Bucky as Selina curled up on his chest, purring smugly. ‘Who’s my good, engineer-baiting girl? Who is? Yes, you are,’ he cooed, scratching her behind the ears.

‘You are really  _disturbingly_  devoted to that fluffy ball of menace,’ Tony said, side-eyeing them.

Selina gave him a baleful look and turned to lick a stripe of ruffled fur back into place, pointedly ignoring him.

‘You’re one to talk.’ Bucky retorted. ‘If I can put up with you makin’ kissy faces with my best friend all over the damn house, you can put up with me gettin’ cat hair on your couch. Now go get yourself washed, it’s team dinner tonight and if you aren’t there Steve’s gonna make the Disappointed Face.’

‘Ugh,’ Tony moaned, but trudged off to the shower anyway, because he was man enough to admit that he was weak against Steve’s disappointed puppy-dog eyes.

Later, when they were all seated around the table, wolfing down Bruce’s excellent cooking amid a cheerful cacophony of banter and friendly arguments, a thought crossed Tony’s mind –  _I never imagined I’d have a family like this_  - and he froze in a mild epiphany, fork halfway to his mouth.

‘Tony?’ Steve asked, turning towards him.

‘This is what you do, isn’t it?’ said Tony, gesturing around the table. ‘You collect strays. You collected all of us. And you found us company, so we wouldn’t have to be angry and alone, so we’d always have someone to look out for us.’

Steve smiled and kissed him on the cheek. ‘I can neither confirm nor deny,’ he said, and stole a piece of Tony’s salty steamed chicken off his plate.

**Author's Note:**

> The full list of words, for those curious, was:
> 
> \- Mewling  
> \- [Verb]ing like teenagers/a teenager  
> \- Earthy  
> \- Wobbling knees  
> \- Seeing stars  
> \- Whiting out  
> \- Scissoring (with appendages of choice)  
> \- Salty  
> \- Gaping  
> \- Gasping  
> \- Sprawling  
> \- Nuzzling  
> \- Moaning  
> \- Licking a stripe


End file.
